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A story about bad timing

2016-10-03 00:59:23 by Crazymonkey154

‚ÄčA young boy kept walking in on his parents at really bad times. One night, he hears them arguing; "You bitch!", "You bastard!". He asks "what does that mean?" after overhearing them, and they say that "bitches and bastards" means "ladies and gentlemen". After the two make love later on, they say "nice tits" and "nice dick" to one another. The boy aks "what does that mean?" after overhearing them again. The parents tell him that "tits and dicks" means "hats and coats". At Thanksgiving the next day, the dad is in the bathroom shaving his face when the boy accidentally opens the door, hitting the dad's elbow and causing him to nick his face. He says "Oh shit!", and the boy asks "what does that mean?". The dad says that "shit" is the type of shaving cream he uses. The boy then walks into the kitchen where the mom is cutting the turkey and accidentally cuts her finger in the process. She says "Oh fuck!", and the boy asks "what does that mean?". The mom says that "fuck" means "cut". As the guests arrive, the boy answers the door. He tells them "Hello you bitches and bastards! Come on inside and hang up your tits and dicks. My dad is in the bathroom wiping the shit off of his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

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