A rich man and a poor man were chatting together. They eventually started talking about presents, with the poor man asking "What did you buy your wife for Christmas?"

The rich man answers "I got her a diamond ring and a new Mercedes."

Feeling confused, the poor man follows up with "Why did you get her both?"

The rich man explains "Well, if she doesn't like the ring, she can return it using the Mercedes and still be happy. How about you? Tell me what you bought your wife."

The poor man replies "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."

Not understanding this, the Rich man questions "Why did you get her both?"

The poor man's response was "If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."

- Crazymonkey154

One Thanksgiving Day, a woman was preparing dinner for her husband and their young daughter. In the middle of cooking, the little girl asked "Mommy, why do have to baste the turkey?"

"Well, dry turkey is yucky, so we squirt water on the turkey to keep it wet." answered the mother, using words a young child could understand.

"Oh, just like daddy basted you last night." said the girl.

“What do you mean, sweetie?” asked the mom, perplexed.

The daughter explained "I woke and had to pee. When I walked past your bedroom, I heard you tell daddy, 'You're making me so wet!'"

This response left the mom feeling highly embarrassed.

- Crazymonkey154

I have submitted an animation called "Sheriff Election". Go check it out!

- Crazymonkey154

Did you about the girlfriend who dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween? She told her boyfriend that he was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

- Crazymonkey154

Like all past celebrations, I had fun on Madness Day 2024. Along with my Imprisoned Killer entry, go see Madness Combat 12: Contravention, which @Krinkels finally posted a little over an hour ago! It's well worth the wait. All I can say without spoilers is how this has lots of action and ends on a cliffhanger.

- Crazymonkey154

Hey all! I just submitted Imprisoned Killer for Madness Day 2024. Go see it and leave reviews! Hopefully it's a satisfactory watch for you.

- Crazymonkey154

Hey there Newgrounds!

Not much will be revealed at this time, but this past June I started work on an animation that has taken longer to finish than expected (I initially thought it would be complete in July or August 2024), and I'm debating whether to use that as a Madness Day 2024 entry or put it aside for something else altogether that I'd post on September 22nd. Had I already been done with the June project, the other idea may have already begun production by now. Regardless of what gets chosen, I'll be sure to submit something that day come hell or high water! Stay tuned for what I have coming up.

- Crazymonkey154

A guy walks into a bar. Nobody is there except for him and a female bartender. He sees a sign above her head with the words "Cheese Sandwich $1.50, Hand Job $10."

This man asks the bartender "Are you the one that gives the hand jobs?"

She affirms "Yes I am!"

His response is "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich."

- Crazymonkey154

Just in time for Leap Day 2024, I give you Day Decisions! Go check it out now. In the meantime, I'm taking a sabbatical from creating animations until at least June 1st after working almost non-stop since November 1st on NG projects in quick succession. It wore me out not having much time off in between Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Leap Day submissions.

- Crazymonkey154

This January 19th marks a full 17 years since I created my Newgrounds account! I've never had any regrets over doing so, and have seen many people on this site come and go. It's hard to predict how frequently I'll visit, but by no means do I plan on completely leaving anytime soon. What I do know regardless is that I've got a Leap Day 2024 animation in the works and plan to submit it here next month. Having submitted something every February 29th since 2008 (the year after I signed up), I don't wish to miss this once-every-4-years opportunity. Be on the lookout for that!

- Crazymonkey154